Suppress Yourself

>> Thursday, February 23, 2012

This morning I went for my suppression check, even though honestly I am not sure what that means. I keep telling people that the Docs want to make sure my system is "suppressed enough" from the birth control pills so they can have total control of how much to ramp things up with drugs...I think that's right but who knows.

It was the fastest appointment I have ever had at the clinic which was amazing. They had told me it could take up to 3 hours, however we knew it would probably be shorter since I already did my trial transfer at my hydrosonogram appointment. When I got there I waited like 30 seconds, got taken for blood draw which lasted like 5 minutes, and then waited on the ultrasound tech for like 10 minutes. It was good to run through the protocol of blood draw, ultrasound, and meet with the nurse, since that will be my schedule multiple times next week. Everyone was nice, however the ultrasound tech gave me a firm lecture about how she wouldn't tell me anything about my follicles, so I shouldn't even ask. I get where she is coming from and I know it's better to lay the ground rules upfront, but gosh lady, I hadn't even thought about asking you and now I feel bad that maybe I might want to ask you in the future!

After only about 40 minutes at the clinic I met with my IVF nurse. She was great!! We actually didn't get to meet her at our IVF class appointment so talking to her today put me at ease. She asked basic questions, reviewed my protocol, and then encouraged me to ask any questions I might have. For some reason, I just didn't really have any. I reviewed how to take the shots and how cold they really needed to stay since they are supposed to be refrigerated, but those were the only things I could come up with. She was laid back the whole time and told me my questions were too easy, so I should feel free to call if I thought of any more.

Then I was sent to the financial lady for my lump sum, all inclusive payment. The best thing I can say about this part is that at least there were no surprises. The cost what we knew it would be from the beginning, so I can't really blame them for collecting their money up front. Finally, I checked out at the front desk, picked up my voice mailbox code, and was free to go after only an hour!!

Overall, I feel good about the whole thing, at least as good as I can. I am trying not to stress or over analyze every detail because it seems like everything is really just a "wait and see" approach. I mean every question I have re: timelines and appointments is dependent on how well I stimulate, which we won't know until I start injections and then attend a follow appointment next week. If I am honest, my main worry right now is just about unexpected events...things I have no control over. Like, what if i don't stimulate as well as they think I will, what if we really do have some female factor infertility issue that they haven't found yet, what if we should have done PGD, what if the shots make me sick and unable to work, etc, etc. But just like all other things in this world, I have no other option but to put my faith in God and trust that if things are difficult, then He must have a purpose for my brief suffering. And that regardless of the outcome...this is all part of His plan, which is always going to be better than anything I could have dreamed!

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A glimpse into my journey to grow my faith and my family. Each day I am trying to trust in God's plan for my life, while I struggle with my own desires for my career, my marriage, and my hope for a family.

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