best way to get pregnant

I hung out with friends from college last night. One of whom is pregnant, not on purpose, but still excited. She talked about the pros/cons of pregnancy and I didn't feel jealous or hurt, just excited for her. She did tell a story about when she went to her OB to confirm the pregnancy and she told them she wasn't trying to get pregnant that they said...but that is the best way for this to happen. The other girls there (both single) agreed that the OB was crazy because why would you want it to happen without trying?? I just sat quietly thinking to myself....that is the best way to get pregnant, because there is nothing worse then having to try and try and try only to fail and fail and fail.

Later in the conversation they confirmed my feelings about not wanting to be open about our infertility struggles. They talked about another friend from college and how she had just confirmed that pregnancy was a doubtful option for her after TTC for years. My prego friend discussed how hard it was to be excited around her and talk to her non-prego friend about the new baby. I know she does this to spare her friend's feelings but God help me when people start watching their words or actions around me just because I can't get pregnant. All I think is "what would make things worse than feeling all alone and infertile?" - how about all of your friends stopping talking to you during their pregnancies and births!!

I also must add that I think on some level people do not feel comfortable taking about babies in front of infertile friends, not only to be sensitive to feelings, but instead because it is uncomfortable for them. It makes me think of a friend of mine who lost her infant child to a congenital heart defect. She often laughs that she wants to wear a button that reads " I am sorry my grief makes you uncomfortable". I think that is an incredibly true and incredibly hard statement. Our society avoids talking about hard topics because we don't know what to say, and by avoiding these topics all we do is further isolate those who need the most support. I know I am choosing not to share my trials with others at this time, but I am praying about it and hoping God will help me chose the right time and the right people to confide in.

Regardless, I think if I do start telling people we are "infertile", then maybe I could get a button to wear to baby showers and sip-n-sees that reads "i am sorry my empty womb makes it awkward for you to be pregnant".

jenn